Wow I suck at blogging. I should probably make it a personal goal to get better. It's not like it's hard work or anything.

So many things have happened. My son is so large and in charge haha! He's upset with me right now because he doesn't wanna go to bed. They say benadryl is supposed to make you drowsy... Not my baby. Don't worry, people, it was prescribed cuz he had an allergic reaction to another medication for an earache.

Tomorrow night I fly to Michigan for a job interview the following day. I'm nervous but excited. I hope I get it. I have to take a test and I think that's the part that is making me the most nervous but, I will do my very best and stay positive.

I can't believe Christmas is almost here. Everything seems to be going by so quickly. Soon it'll be March again and bub will be 1!

It's funny how time can go by fast and slow at the same time. It's going fast because it seems like I just had Kyson but also going slow because I'm waiting for my boyfriend to get back from deployment.

Long distance relationships aren't that new to me but this one, for me is very very different. All the other times I didn't have certain factors like Kyson for example. Relationships are difficult but adding a child to the mix is an added challenge. I always found my boyfriend (Zach is his name) super attractive but at the time I was with my son's dad so obviously I didn't bother pursuing it. Plus, I felt like he'd probably never give me the time of day anyway. Boy, was I wrong. The moment I decided to just focus my energy on other stuff in my life is the exact moment he walked back into my life. He told me that he's always liked me but didn't pursue it because 1.i had a boyfriend 2.he didn't think I'd be interested. I found that ironic haha.

I feel like he read the list I made about what qualities I want in a man that I'd settle down with. He's every single thing on there. I prayed for something like this and I feel like it's really finally here. For a while I thought he was kidding but he made it clear that he was super serious. It feels like Christmas every time I open up an email from him. Right now, we're reading the same book. I think it's really cool especially since we're so far away from each other. This isn't the best of circumstances (since he's on deployment) but, I feel like it's definitely worth it, for sure. I can't wait until they find out when they can come home. I hope that I can be there when he gets back.

Long time no blog! So many things have happened since the last time I wrote. One of them being that I am now officially a mom! Kyson was born on March 17th at 1245. I can honestly say it was the best day of my life. He's amazing in every way possible. I love him more than anything.
So, I had my first mother's day yesterday. It was great. I got to go out to lunch with my friend Elizabeth's awesome mom and hilarious sister. Kyson always gets a lot of attention when he goes anywhere. Silly boy. Karen (Liz's mom) brought Kyson's handmade donut from Philly. Who needs a bumbo when you have an extra large donut?! He really loves it and sits in it and watches everything. I will be really sad when he eventually is too big to fit in the middle. Maybe it will be his comfort thing which would be hilarious considering it's freakin huge and pink. But whatever floats his boat lol!

I am also pleased to announce that he finally got to wear his first pair of jeans! I have been dying to dress him up in clothes other than onesies and such. Friday, on our way to Maine (his first time going) I got the opportunity! The next day we got to see my friend Hannah graduate. Which gave me an excuse to dress him in a fancy suit with a tie! He looked so cute. I took the picture as he was crying but I'm sure you get the gist of it. Anyway I'm gonna try harder to write in here more often! Ciao

Good morning all!
You know those days when you wake up excited about life? Today was one of those days. I have a lot of them but today was extra special cuz both of my babies are here aka my sisters. Hopefully we can go take pictures today. This morning I saw this link about waterbirth and various pictures. So freakin beautiful. It's getting me even more excited to give birth. I know a lot of people are scared but I'm literally bursting at the seams with excitement. I'm so ready to experience everything and have the people I love be there. I can't wait to share this time with Kollin. I can't wait to see our reaction when we finally get to hold OUR son. I love saying that. What a beautiful thing. We made a human being! Pretty soon we'll get to teach him and love him. It gets me excited to think about how many wonderful people are gonna be in his life, how many people already love him just as much as I do. Just the thought of it all, makes me smile so wide. I think I get what my dad was talking about when he said the love he has for his children is the purest form of love. I love him so much now I can't imagine what it will be like once he's actually right here in front of me. I know he's gonna be amazing and beautiful and I am so ready for all of it.

http://blogs.babble.com/being-pregnant/2011/07/21/amazing-waterbirth-photos/?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=babbleeditors&utm_content=post&utm_medium=referral&pid=1698#slideshow

Updates

Argh sooo many things have gone on since my last entry (which seems like forever ago)! Last weekend I had my baby shower. The weekend started off pretty rocky (Kollin and his parents getting delayed in Detroit, my grandmother having a dementia filled breakdown, me losing one foot of my shoes I planned on wearing, etc) but once I got in there everything fell into place and I could breathe easy. My stepmom Wendy did such a beautiful job with it. I wanted to be surprised so I really didn't inquire much about how the shower would be. All I knew was that there were ducks, games and a cake that I picked out haha! It was truly more than I could ask for. It was so good to finally see Kollin again. I hadn't seen him since the end of November. I was barely showing. I'm still not as big as people expect for me to be. Sometimes when I ride the train I wish I looked like I had a basketball in my belly so people would feel bad and get the hell up but, then I realize that I DON'T wanna be that big. I take the stairs and walk a lot because I'm afraid I'll blow up. I can't be walkin around with Bam lookin like a beached whale. I wanna be Pilar Sanders sexy hahah! I've been doin well thus far. Only one more month and he will be here, practically. It's always always always on my mind.

Next week, I should be moving into my new apt. which will be very exciting. I can't wait to decorate it, especially Bam's room. Kollin's mom got me "the hungry caterpillar" bedding that I wanted as well as the pictures to go with it so I am soooo elated!

My two good friends Thomas and Veronica just had their beautiful baby girl, Kiya. She is so cute and she just makes me want to meet Bam even more now. I feel like I'm never gonna get any sleep because I will literally just be staring at him in awe. I'm already obsessed with him and he's not here. I love when he kicks or hiccups. It let's me know he's in there and growing by the day. And when he comes he's going to be showered with sooo much love it's gonna be ridiculous. We are so blessed and I really can't say that enough because we truly are.

So, my new obsession are cloth diapers! I've been doing a lot of research on them but I really sealed the deal when I went to "The Diaper Lab" on Saturday in Somerville. OH EM GEE! So many choices. I was in there for an hour even though I told myself I would not buy anything! I did. Three prefolds (what you put into a diaper shell or cloth that you can just make into a diaper like in the olden days) and two diaper shells. I got ones that had red in them for Kollin since that's his favorite color. Anywho there are soooo many different kinds for different purposes and I am really ready to commit to having Bam be an exclusive reusable diaper wearer. Plus, it saves money in the long run and I am ALWAYS down for ballin on a budget.

Alright this post is long enough. Here's some pics.
One of Bam's new diapers and the other is of Kiya Lynn

Ciao ciao, amigitos

Strangers...

Hi everyone,
I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long! I really need to get back into the swing of blogthings haha! I will be posting updates very soon...so get readyyy

Herro,
Hope everyone had a good 3 day weekend and took a few moments out to celebrate WHY we had a 3 day weekend. MLK day. I wish there were more days where we could celebrate the accomplishments and lives of influential black people. There should be a Harriet Tubman day or a Sojourner Truth day or a Cinque day! But alas, we must celebrate this people daily even if it isn't commercialized. Recently I saw a video of MLK but not one of him making any influential speeches. He was just being Martin, making jokes and showing that he has many faces to him. It was really refreshing. I love seeing pictures of him just having fun. I also really love the sound of his voice. Idk it's so soothing to me. If I had been his kid I would've BEGGED for him to read me a bedtime story even if it was like, 4 in the afternoon, srsly. I wanna make sure my son knows who MLK was and many other influential people.

I think in this day and age we tend to forget how much these people sacrificed so that we could get to where we are. To a certain extent we have fulfilled some of his vision (and many others) but we still have a long road ahead of us! Racism is definitely still here and just because people aren't getting sprayed with water hoses or being told to sit in the back of the bus doesn't mean that people aren't still filled with hatred and prejudice. It's sad and it's scary for me even more so now because I'm bringin my son into this. But, I will do my very best to teach him and guide him. Awareness is key. That goes for all children. I see so many kids and their parents are just idiots.

For example many mornings I eat breakfast and see this chick. For some reason her hair is always done but her daughter always looks like shyt. Um, no, bitch your kid should always come first. Id rather look like shyt than have my baby look like no. Then on top of that this bitch is wearing headphones while her and her daughter are eating! Are you 12? THEN this chickenhead starts rappin all this hardcore shyt to her daughter. In my head I'm like, "THIS bitch..." I HATE parents like that. I have literally been taking mental notes of the parent I DON'T want to be.

My child WILL stay lookin' fresh at all times. He is #1 and forget about anyone else. He WILL be disciplined accordingly and he will most certainly know his place (I'm sorry but there are too many kids out here talkin wreckless and that is just unacceptable behavior). I will make sure that he is aware of who he is and that he isn't "better" than anyone else because of his skin tone, physical features or anything else but I will make sure that he knows he's special for more concrete reasons.

Hi guys,
Hope everyone's week is going well! So, my baby showers are rapidly approaching. One of my very best friends is throwing me one in Maine and the theme of it is going to be the movie "Waitress" which involves cuteness, pregnancy and my favorite: PIE! Her and her amazing mother have planned this extravaganza and they're even making me a waitress apron which is extra exciting! This will take place in march so I could possibly be as big as a house by then hahah! Right now though I literally have at least one person comment on how "tiny" I am EVERYDAY! It's ok I guess but 1. It's the equivalent of people constantly rubbin my belly whenever they feel like it and/or 2. People probably assume I party a little too hard and now have a major pooch/gut. But in the long run I'm def happy I haven't blown up like a beached whale as well as knowing that my son is growing at the rate he's supposed to be. Baller.

So this morning I read yesterday's horoscope. I thought i'd share: Aries Jan 11 2012
You are standing on the precipice of a big change, Aries. You are not afraid of change, but you could be a bit nervous about where this new path will lead you. You know it's time to move beyond what you have accepted in your life - you want more for yourself and for your loved ones too. You could be apprehensive because you may have had more than your fair share of difficulties toward the end of 2011. But your outlook is far better than you realize. Embrace the changes you face, because they will bring you to a happier, more stable place.
--
Fuckin NUTS because yesterday I definitely got a call from my case worker informing me that my housing voucher is ready for pick up and that I will be in an apartment by next month! Just in time for my Boston baby shower which is going to be so exciting because 1. Kollin and his family will be meeting my family for the first time 2. Wendy (my stepmom) is an amazing party planner 3. Ill be surrounded by awesome people anddd I get to wear this new bubble skirt I got for cheapy cheap at my favoritest store in Maine called "Marden's". P sure everyone should go there at least once in their life jussayin.

I've been thinking about all the things I want in my apt and all the images I wanna surround my baby with. First things first, I will definitely have a picture of Princess Diana and Lucille Ball in my house. But I would also like some beautiful images of Costa Rica, influential black figures, native american figures etc. I just remember being a little kid and seeing all the awesome pictures my dad had on the wall. I loved that and the smell of incense constatly burning (his hippie genes have mos def been passed down).

This week two friends of mine had their baby (as well as Beyonce hahah) and so I'm getting even morrrre excited for my BamBam! He's been givin me crazy heartburn and I finally realized that he clearly doesn't approve of anything with marinara in it (which is fine with me). This morning I was thinking about how much family he's gonna have. Even though my biological mom isn't here (I think about that often especially now that I'm having my first child which is a boy which is what she first had) I have three wonderful mother figures who love me and that is such a blessing. I have Wendy my step mom, Susan my adopted mom and Eloisa my west coast mom...beautiful, strong and influential women who have shaped me into the person I am today and I'm soooo excited for my son to meet them. All his friends will be jealous cuz he has FOUR (including kollin's mom) instead of 2 :-)! Also all his aunts and uncles! Like, my best friend Jovy (Eloisa's son). He's great with kids and I know he'll be baller with mine.

Oh, so yesterday my adorable friend Courtney showed me a letter she got from her adorable boyfriend Andrew which said "tell Imani good luck with her baby!" Cutest thing EVER! I died.

Well, today is the day I pick up my voucher and get all the info I need to finally get my apt. I've whittled it down to two different ones close to my parentals because I'm not ashamed to say that I enjoy living close to them especially because I spent almost 3 years away. I cherish that shyt! Both places have a pool and a gym. I don't really care about that but it's mos def a plus. The rooms are big and the kitchens are spacious and I'm all for that! Also now two of my bffs Alfine and Jill can now come visit! Alfine is bam's godmother who lives in Maine. Jill lives in Va and I'm her son tucker's godmother.  We haven't seen eachother in over 2 years and therefore I have never physically held Tucky :-( but that's allll about to change. I will probably weep with joy upon seeing her beautiful freckled face hahah!

As always, here's some pics. The first one is of my Jilleesa and her baller freckles (I miss her so much). The second one is of adorable tucker. I can't wait to squeeze his cheeks and love him up.

Have a great day all
Ciao ciao,
Imani